Suicide Note
From
“Married male, age 48
Elaine, Darling,
My mind — always warped and twisted — has reached the point where I can wait no longer — I don’t dare wait longer — until there is the final twist and it snaps and I spend the rest of my life in some state run snake pit.
I am going out — and I hope it is out — Nirvanha, I think the Bhudaists (how do you spell Bhudaists?) call it which is the word for “nothing.” That’s as I have told you for years, is what I want. Imagine God playing a dirty trick on me like another life!!!
I’ve lived 47 years — there aren’t 47 days I would live over again if I could avoid it.
Let us, for a moment be sensible. I do ont remember if the partnership agreement provides for a case like this — but if it doesn’t and I think it doesn’t, I would much prefer — I haven’t time to make this a legal requirement — but, I would much prefer that you, as executrix under my will, do not elect to participate in profits for 2 or 3 years or whatever it may be that is specified there. My partners have been generous with me while I worked with them. There is no reason why, under the circumstances of my withdrawal from the firm, they should pay anything more.
I could wish that I had, for my goodby kiss, a .38 police special with which I have made some good scores — not records but at least made my mark. Instead, I have this black bitch — bitch, if the word is not familiar to you — but at least an honest one who will mean what she says.
The neighbors may think it’s a motor backfire ,but to me she will whisper — “Rest - Sleep.”
Albert
P.S. I think there is enough insurance to see Valerie through school, but if there isn’t — I am sure you would out of the insurance payments, at least —
I hope further and I don’t insist that you have the ordinary decency — decency that is — to do so — Will you see Valerie through college — she is the only one about whom I am concerned as this .38 whispers in my ear.”>
While walking alone today I passed a beetle on its back struggling to get back up. I stopped and watched for a bit, then continued walking after having acknowledged its fate. But soon after, I acted on a foreign impulse (I hate bugs) and turned around to nudge the beetle upon which it regained balance and flew away.
Was I meant to save the beetle? Or was my saving of that beetle a pure exercise of free will? Was that beetle meant to live anyway - its struggle to get back on its stomach a fleeting moment of a certain trial?
:(
I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.
Stephen Colbert. (via libertarians)
There’s so much I want to learn…
http://www.economicpolicyjournal.com/2012/04/my-speech-delivered-at-new-york-federal.html
…. Reading this gave me chills.
Difficult classes that will kick my ass… but kickass 4-day weekend schedule YEEEHAW
a dramatic Shakespearean response to every situation
When something bad happens: True is it that we have seen better days.
When something REALLY bad happens: O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
When people say that something is wrong because the Bible says so: The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
When someone doesn't thank me for holding the door open for them: BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN'S INGRATITUDE!
When I burn something while cooking: MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
When human stupidity frustrates me: LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
When someone says I'm going to hell for my sins: NYMPH, IN THY ORISONS BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER'D.
When I'm broke: My pride fell with my fortunes
When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues: OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
When someone disagrees with me: THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THEN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
When I argue with my girlfriend: The course of true love never did run smooth.
When I'm embarrassed: MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
Someone says "Good Night": Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
When I'm doing the laundry: OUT, damned spot!
When stuck as a mediator: I am hurt. A plague a' both your houses!
When a friend gets sick: Alas, poor Yorick!
When things turn better: Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of York.
When boiling water: Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
When making potions: Round about the cauldron go; In the poison'd entrails throw. Toad, that under cold stone days and nights has thirty-one swelter'd venom sleeping got, Boil thou first i' the charmed pot.
When asked for your identity: What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
When you want/need something really badly: A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!
Dealing with impatient people: How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?
